When the Past Comes Back to Bite You in the Ass
by pprbckwrtr
Summary: Nora gets a surprise at a crime scene.
1. Chapter 1

**Authors: pprbckwrtr and docwho2100**

Disclaimer: You know the drill, we did not create nor do we own the characters.

A/N: I wanted to try my hand at a POV story but was a little leery so with a little arm twisting (yeah right) docwho2100 agreed to help out. We each took a viewpoint and I'm confident that you'll know who wrote which character.

A/N2: Since this is an experiment this is a short story with very little case to speak of. But with a few kind words to soothe the ego there could be seconds.

**Chapter 1**

Nikki's P.O.V.

Drip, Drip, Drip, Drip, Drip...

I so want to go over to the kitchen sink and turn that damn faucet off; but the techs have not cleared the kitchen and considering one of the bodies is in here, the faucet is hands off.

Drip, drip, drip, drip...

God, save me.

"There you are Nikki."

Distraction, I am saved, Dan I am so loving you right now, I forgive you all the times you leer at Nora. Okay, maybe some of the times; yesterday in the elevator I so know you were staring at her butt the whole time and...

"Nikki?"

I really have to watch myself in getting swept up and distracted.

"Sorry Lieutenant," I can't help but smirk as I see him grimace a bit. I know he hates the title, I know he also loves it. Dan sometimes is so easy to read, unlike some people in the department.

"Are you okay with the scene?"

I nod slowly, partially miffed and partially touched that he asked as his voice held that _caring tone_. You know the one, the one that could be, "Hey my friend, you doing alright?" or the one that could mean, "Oh you are much too delicate to be able to understand or handle something like this."

I am very familiar with that tone. And the whispers that often follow, the whispers that confirm the tone was motivated by the unfavorable impression they had formed; that I was the type to be easily offended, put off, or unable to understand certain subjects. Unfortunately I have spent most of my life getting that tone, both from others in my supposed "social circle" and those outside that circle. "Why, Beaumont's little girl can't possible have a stomach for things as gruesome as a crime scene and detective work. She is just a beauty with no brains or brawn to speak of..." I've had enough people assume that about me that the hackles tend to rise anytime I hear a tone or words that could even mildly be interpreted as that line of thought.

Of course since working with Dan, I'd learn he'd had to fight certain assumptions as well, so he tended not to make them. And considering this was a double murder scene, a shotgun the weapon of choice, it was fair to think maybe I'd need a break from the scene. I'd already heard two of the uniforms out back vomiting. A tribute to their training that they'd managed to try and clear the crime scene before losing their breakfast.

I'll go for a teasing smile, to ease my mood, "So far hanging in, better than Nodget and Harris out back."

Laughing, Dan nods, his gaze averting toward the back of the house. "I had to walk outside twice myself. Charlie is not going to have an easy time identifying the one body; the one in the bedroom," he pauses a moment before continuing, his brow furrowing as he sticks his hand in his pants pocket, "The one in the bedroom, the shot was to the face."

Alright, I guess I wasn't being fair to Dan, I should know better and trust my boss more; he does care about all of his detectives. I wince as I think about the possible condition of the body in the bedroom. I'd not made it to that room yet, I was taking the scene slow. Well, truth be told, I was being a little bitchy, having already snapped at two uniforms and a tech since arriving.

But, to try and plead my case, today was just a crappy day. Considering the call for this case had pulled me from a talk with my father and grandmother, my mood sour from the one-two punch I'd gotten as they ganged up on me about my future. I was just a walking tinderbox waiting to go up in glorious flames and woe to the one that sparked my ignition. Maybe that was why I'd not gone out of my way to find Nora. Lord help me if I start snapping at her, I'll be in sore trouble once we get home.

Nora's P.O.V.

As I roll up out front of the crime scene I already feel out of sorts. I don't know why Nikki's family breakfast has me feeling uneasy, it's not like I ever go but I'm usually invited. Then seeing Carrie's name on my caller id...after all this time what the hell did she want? I wish she had left a message.

As I climb out of the car I straighten my gun and badge, my way of getting my head in the game. I assess the scene outside as I walk up the driveway; the building is a small duplex, half kept up half not, probably a rental. The yellow tape surrounds the nice half, that could change the circumstances. Maybe I shouldn't judge before I get inside but it's the hazards of the job.

I spot two officers catching their breath in the backyard. I'm not surprised to find Nodget out here but Harris..."Bad in there?" I ask, trying not to sound judgmental.

"It sure ain't pretty," Harris answers.

"What do we have?"

"Female victim with a shotgun blast to the chest in the kitchen and an apparent suicide in the bedroom."

"Sure it's a suicide?" I ask, hoping to get a picture before I step inside.

"Oh yeah," Nodget says as he continues sucking in the oxygen.

"Do we have ids yet?"

"It'll be a while getting one off the suicide."

"Oh," I say as it finally sinks in why they are out here. I remember my first shotgun suicide, thankfully I hadn't spoiled the scene. "He meant business huh?"

"She," Harris corrects and it throws me slightly. Not a typical method for a woman.

"Okay, thanks guys." I guess I can't put it off any longer, I turn and head into the house. "Hey guys," I announce my presence as I step into the kitchen. I take in the young woman sitting in the kitchen chair. "Has Charlie cleared her yet?"

"He's got his hands full in the bedroom." I can hear the tension in the young tech's voice; damn, it must be bad in there. I step closer to the victim. "Why do they always have to take someone with them?"

"Pardon?"

I shake my head, not realizing I had spoken out loud. "Do you know who she is?"

"I think the landlord is in the front room. I don't know if your partner talked to him yet."

"Thanks Alex." I step into the other room, thankful that Nikki's already here. I spot a slightly overweight, graying man with a tool box standing as close to the open front door as he possibly can without being outside. "I'm Detective Delaney," I hold out my hand as I step toward him.

"Tony Lugo."

"You found them?"

I watch as his eyes dart toward the hallway and I follow his gaze where I finally spot Nikki standing in front of an open door, must be the bedroom. "I was supposed to fix the faucet." I have to strain to hear his quiet answer.

"Who's place is this?" I ask and his eyes immediately dart back to the kitchen.

"Erin's." I step out the front door and Lugo follows me onto the porch, his voice is much stronger as he continues. "Erin North, she moved in about a month ago."

"Do you know the other woman?"

"I'd seen her around a lot but I never met her."

"So they didn't live here together."

"Only one name on the lease but I can't say for sure how many actually live here."

"Okay, thank you Mr. Lugo. If you could just hang out here for a few more minutes, I'm sure we won't need to keep you too much longer." I smile at him and notice he looks less pale being outside, he nods and I'm able to step back in. Now to join my partner.


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors: pprbckwrtr & docwho2100**

Nikki's P.O.V.

Enough delay, I need to get into the scene and focus, it would help if I quit thinking back to the talking to I received this morning. Or maybe it was a dressing down. My Daddy can be very direct and the disappointment was thick in that room this morning, everything they said just seemed to drip with it, at least that's the impression I left with as I headed here.

Here.

Here is where I need to be, here and focused.

"Nikki?"

"Oh, hey Nora." Okay maybe that was not as strong a greeting as normal. Focus Beaumont. "Make the rounds yet?"

"Just the landlord."

"Oh? You got to him already? Did you get what we need?"

"Only a first pass, might be good to give him another once over, I left him on the porch, I think he was a little happier out there."

"I think I might be happier out there."

"You can join Harris, I think he's really focused on clearing the backyard of any evidence."

I smile at that, not sure why Nora's words make me feel better, but they do. Somehow most of what Nora says and does always just makes me feel better. Maybe it is that natural syncing people say good partners develop. Maybe it is the way she can smile with her lips just a little off center in an expression that just sucks me right in. Maybe it is... the fact I am in love with Nora. Alright enough of that, I really need to stop getting distracted, I think Nora just said something... or maybe I need to say something...

"Dan's collected some of the uniform's prelim work. It seems only this part of the duplex is rented out right now and no one in the area has heard anything."

"Or is admitting it."

Nodding to indicate the possibility, "So far only the landlord has been identified as a potential interview. Again, not sure how much the neighborhood has been canvased yet."

"We could do a walk around the property and street."

Is Nora offering me an escape from the scene waiting in the bedroom and kitchen?

We usually do cover the same ground as the uni's, something that Dan is always saying separates us from a lot of other detectives; some calling it thoroughness, others wasted effort. I wonder now and then if other officers might resent me, us, for the tactic we take. I know it's a habit I've developed since becoming a detective; I find it harder and harder to rely on others work. Being burned with the Fisher/Cordone case just pushed that home for me. I'm kinda use to it though; I've always had to work twice as hard to prove myself; Nora is someone who seems to get that about me.

"Definitely, but wanna tackle the bodies first? Make the morning a complete winner." Okay Nik, level down the sarcasm, god I hope it didn't leak out too much in my tone. "Shall we?"

* * *

Nora's P.O.V...

"Good a time as any," I answer. I can hear the stress in my partner's voice but for the time being I'll chalk it up to the scene we're about to enter. I watch as Nikki pulls on her gloves and moves to the far side of the room, guess that leaves me the body. I pull on my own gloves and step toward the bed. "Hey, Charlie."

"Well this gal really wanted to kill herself." Charlie's voice is devoid of emotion as he hands me a small bag. "So far looks like she probably was sitting on the edge of the bed, rigged a pulley system to pull the trigger."

I give the body a quick glance, I'll never get used to the damage people are willing to inflict on themselves. I let out a slow breath as I look at the bag, seeing it contains a few small white squares covered with flecks of blood. "Okay?"

"What we can find so far of her jaw, a few molars. I should be able to use these and get some prints to get you an ID. It might take a little time."

"Thanks Charlie," I step up and pat his shoulder, he immediately reaches up and grips my hand, squeezing it. Our eyes meet and I can see his normal chipper expression missing; you know I hate that about this job. Not so much the scene, but how it affects those who have to clean up the mess after someone else's stupidity.

I step back as Charlie stands. "I'm gonna check on the progress in the kitchen. Give you gals a few minutes here and then I'll come get the body ready for transport."

After he leaves, I bend down to examine the shotgun as Nikki continues searching around the room. "Nora," she calls to me, a touch of fear in her voice.

"Yeah," I look up to see her holding an envelope in one hand and a necklace dangling from the other. "What is it?"

"It's addressed to you," she practically whispers.

"Me?" I look from my partner to the woman on the bed. A name flashes through my head as my eyes slide closed. "What's on the chain?"

I can feel Nikki's eyes on me as she answers, "St. Christopher." A band tightens around my chest as I crouch down to remove the woman's sock. "Nora?"

A sob escapes as I reveal the daisy chain tattoo around her ankle. My legs give out and I land on my ass with my head swimming. After what seems like forever I can feel Nikki's hand running through my hair. "Who is she?" she asks quietly.

I take a deep breath before my voice croaks out an answer. "Carrie." I turn to look at her, she deserves to know the truth but how the hell do I tell her. "We used to..." I can see the disbelief in her eyes but before anything can be explained Dan enters the room.


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors: ppbckwrtr & docwho2100**

Nikki's P.O.V.

A/N: science(dot)howstuffworks(dot)com/csi3(dot)htm

You know, there is something about the snapping sound of putting on gloves that just screams, 'time to get down to business'. Standing at the edge of the scene, my eyes sweep across the room as I try to decide what search pattern to use. Yeah, I know, only rookies and book hounds use the search patterns. Frankly, I am a bit surprised I even remember them. My eyes and attention in that class would roam more to Ella who sat three rows ahead. Oh I could stare at her butt for... Um, think I'll use the inward spiral.

Or I could just start in the closet; I am sure there is much that can be learned. There is so much you can tell from a person's closet. And from their shoe collection. Seriously, it is like opening a window to their mind. I mean take Nora, her shoes are... practical, functional, simple, only a few pairs that she habitually wears, one or two pairs that begin to scream a little more daring; they paint quite a picture of my Nora. Shoes are one of my five points I measure when meeting someone.

Heading to the closet, I stop and pivot sharply to the right; a familiar shape and object having just nipped the edge of my peripheral vision. Oh wow, what a coincidence. I shake my wrist, and look at the bracelet that is half trapped by the glove. Yup, it's a match. Another St. Christopher's. As I reach out to poke at it, I overshoot and push the necklace off, biting my lip as it falls to the side.

"Shit," I whisper and look around, hoping no one saw that little blunder, thank god Charlie just left. About to retrieve the jewelry and cover my rookie mistake, I stop. The necklace was sitting on an envelope, an envelope addressed to Nora Delaney.

I grab it, not thinking about being a professional detective that is committing a cardinal sin by disturbing the scene, hell no. My senses scream as I pick up the envelope, catching an aroma, I bring the envelope closer and inhale, damn that smell is familiar... but where have I sniffed this elusive scent before. Closing my eyes, hoping to try and trigger my memory, I reach down and pick up the necklace. As my fingers close around the very familiar design, I remember where I've smelled it before. "Nora..." Her name slips out, my emotion unmasked as I start to get a very funny feeling in the pit of my stomach. The same kind I always get when I know my family is coming to visit; the unique blend of foreboding, dread and feeling trapped.

Did Nora speak to me? I need to refocus. "It's addressed to you."

"Me? What's on the chain?"

She knows, somehow I know she already knows and yet... what does this all mean? I almost do not want to answer, "St. Christopher."

What the hell is Nora thinking? Come on Nora, tell me why there is an envelope with your name on it.

What the hell is she doing now? I watch, stepping closer as Nora suddenly is examining the body, oh, no, sorry she's, undressing the corpse? What the fuck is going on Nora, why... shit, Nora... I rush forward as I watch my partner seem to collapse. Screw the professional distance Nora is always drilling into me. Maybe Nora might not need comfort, but right now, I do. I touch Nora on her arm and find no response, okay, not good, something bad is going on here and to top it, insane curiosity is burning through me. I have to know. I go for a more intimate touch and run my fingers through her hair, "Who is she?"

"Carrie. We used to..."

I'm leaning in, trying to hear what she is saying, why did she cut off? Who the hell is Carrie and why has this Carrie person sent my partner, MY PARTNER, for a major loop. Alright if I have to prod I will prod.

Okay, maybe not. It seems my prodding will have to wait a few as Dan kneels down beside us, cue the reason why, I hope, Nora stopped.

"Nora, what happened?" As he asks, Dan is squeezing his very muscular body between Nora and I. OK, fine, I'll just move back…. and watch as he wraps an arm around Nora. Sure, fine, let our superior comfort Nora. Oh yeah, that's just how this should be playing out.

"I..."

Oh shit, she's going to spill. Not like this, helllllllll no, after all the shit she's put me through, she's not going out like this and not until I get answers. I make sure the envelope and necklace are out of sight, praying that Dan did not see me holding them.

"The air currents shifted, smell came right back at us. Nora was doing a wound check and well..."

"Yeah," Dan nods, thank god, seeming to, I hope, buy that. I know I just made Nora out to be a wimp, but considering we both just got caught with our pants down, so to speak, I think she'll gift me a little latitude here.

"We're going to take five outside and then come back and finish this." I look Dan straight in the eyes, my voice pitched a little lower, any room for contradicting my statement removed as I make sure not to blink. All tricks of the trade in controlling a person and the conversation. I thank my eleventh grade Charm School teacher for helping me perfect the art of conversation and getting what you want.

He nods and begins to take his arm from Nora, hesitating at least three times that I can count, his arm lingering for long seconds, much too long in my opinion to be a simple superior giving a fellow officer a moment of comfort.

"Understood, here, I'll bag that for you and cover until you return." Damnnnnnn it, how did he see?

Feeling like a kid with her hand caught in the candy jar, I hold out the evidence, my eyes tracking the envelope and necklace the entire time as Dan calls in a tech, handing off the items. My eyes continue to follow the envelope as the tech writes a number, then enters the number in his book, stashing the evidence in a baggie; the baggie joining a pile of other bags. Alright, neither Dan nor the tech looked at Nora once as they handled the envelope; I doubt anyone could have kept from looking if they'd discovered Nora's name. No one is that good, right?

"Alright, give us five," my voice stays cool as I help Nora stand, placing a hand on the small of Nora's back so I can guide her toward the back, glancing over my shoulder to verify the baggie with the envelope is still in the box and that no one is paying it any attention. No one that is besides me. I have got to get that envelope.

* * *

Nora's P.O.V.

How could she do that? Then to drag me into it, just one more example of her forcing the issue. What the hell did she put in that letter? How am I going to explain that? Oh god, how am I going to explain this to Nikki? I know she thinks she was my first, and in so many ways she is, just not my first woman. It's not like she hasn't told me about her past, I'm sure she'll understand...I hope. It will be okay, we'll get through this like we do everything else. Just take a deep breath; that's better, fresh air.

Wait...I look around and finally settle on brown eyes studying me. "When did we..." No, Nikki will really think I've lost it if I can't even remember getting outside. "How could she do that?" I ask instead.

"She must have been pretty unhappy."

"Unhappy?" When has that ever been an excuse?

"To do that to herself."

"Herself? She fucking killed someone." Suddenly the yard around us is quiet as I realize I was a bit louder than I intended. Nikki gives the other officers her 'get back to work' glare before she turns back to me. The concern in her eyes is going to make me fall apart right here in front of everyone if I can't get my emotions under control. "Where's the letter?"

"Dan bagged it?" The way she says it tells me I should have known but even under oath I don't think I could give an accurate account of the last ten minutes. "I don't think he paid much attention though."

"Fuck." This time I grit my teeth in an attempt to keep my voice down.

"Nora, what do you think is in it? Who was she?"

I shake my head, not here. "Not now."

"So Delaney, I heard the scene gave you a little trouble."

I turn to glare at the gloating Nodget but before I can rip into the rookie Nikki steps toward him. I watch as she plasters on her biggest smile, the one that I have learned is her way of keeping her mouth in check but that everyone else thinks is charming. "Well at least we were able to keep our breakfasts in our stomachs, sugar." The tease works as the older officers laugh and Nodget can only duck his head and trudge back to his partner. "Why don't we skip the canvas of the neighbors, I'm sure the uniforms will do a thorough job. I'll make one last pass with the landlord, tell Dan that we want first crack at all the evidence and meet you back at the station."

I know she's trying to help me, give me time to get my head together so that we can handle whatever problems are about to come up. God, if Carrie did anything that's going to cause Nikki pain I'll never be able to forgive her, or myself. I stare at her as she waits for me to agree or argue or explain what the hell is going on but I just...

"Nora, I'll meet you back at the station." When I hear that tone I know the conversation is over so I simply nod and head to my car.


	4. Chapter 4

**Authors: pprbckwrtr & docwho2100**

Nora's P.O.V...

I glance to my watch again, five minutes later than the last time I looked, could time move any slower? I know Nikki thought she was doing the right thing by sending me back here, get away from the crime scene to get myself in check, but without something to focus on...

_"I can't do this anymore," Nora admitted with a sigh._

_"What?" Carrie demanded. "Nothing happened. Your secret is still safe," she added derisively. _

_"Not for lack of trying."_

_"I was just trying to congratulate my best friend on her promotion," Carrie said with a hint of dangerous humor._

_"We were at my parents'," Nora ground out._

_"Your brother was the only one who saw anything and he thought it was funny."_

_"That's because they all love it when I get caught off guard and embarrassed."_

_"Oh come on. We've been together for six months, you really think they don't know."_

_"Of course not. Believe me if my mother even considered it a possibility I would know about it."_

_"Would it really be that bad?" Carrie asked, finally letting some of the hurt creep into her voice. "Or is it me? Are you afraid what they'll think of me?"_

_Nora sighed and sank onto the couch. "It's not you. My family already loves you."_

_Carrie moved over to the couch and lowered herself to straddle Nora's lap. "You don't have to be ashamed of who you are."_

_"I'm not," Nora answered defensively._

_"You are a strong and beautiful woman, Nora Delaney," Carrie whispered as her lips brushed along Nora's jaw. "I'm sorry, I won't do it again," she promised as she began nibbling on the blonde's ear._

_"Yes you will," Nora relented as her hands began snaking inside Carrie's blouse._

That should have been the end right there. What the hell was I thinking. And where the hell is Nikki with that damn letter I wonder as I glance again at my watch. I sit and stare at the doorway for what feels like forever before my partner finally saunters through. "About time."

"Sorry to keep you waiting."

She offers me a small smile as she sits behind her desk and it leaves me a little uneasy. "What?" She takes a deep breath before she finally answers.

"Dan knows why you had a problem at the crime scene."

I can feel my heart pound in my chest. "Did he see the letter?" I ask the question but I don't think I want the answer.

"No and as far as I know he didn't even see it."

"Then what?"

"He couldn't understand why I was so adamant about wanting to go through the evidence before it was logged in, especially when it appears to be an obvious case of murder suicide."

Leave it to Dan to question how we do our job but I still don't understand... "So you told him?" I can't believe she would do that.

"No." She answers quickly and I wonder how she's handling everything. "We found Carrie's wallet. Dan recognized her picture on her id."

"Oh." I nod my head as I think back. "I forgot that they'd met."

"He said you were roommates." The fact that she's studying her desk as she practically whispers to me tells me how she's coping...and it's not all that well. "Why didn't you ever tell me?" she asks as she looks back to me

"Nikki," I sigh but I can't come up with an answer. I actually have a million of them but can't find one that will satisfy her at this moment. Because it wasn't a relationship I was particularly proud of, because it ended badly and I didn't want to go through explaining it, I didn't want you to think less of me, I don't really like hearing about your past why would I want to tell you about mine, or maybe because it's not really any of your business. "I'm sorry," is all I can say and still have some hope of not sleeping on the couch.

"How long?"

I shake my head, no way am I having this conversation here and luckily Dan shows up to save me from having to.

"Hey Nora, sorry about Carrie. You could have told me at the scene."

"I know. I'm sorry, just caught me by surprise." I stand up and lean against my desk, trying to convey to him that I'm not too emotionally invested to handle this case. "We actually haven't spoken for a few years now so I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about it."

Thankfully he buys my explanation and let's it drop. "I had Nodget put the boxes in the interrogation room for you so you can go through everything. Just make sure you get everything logged into evidence when you're done."

"Thanks Dan." I try to force a smile before he turns and heads into his office. Without a word Nikki rises and heads toward the evidence. As I stand to follow I briefly consider just heading toward the exit but if I'm going to have any effective damage control I need to see that letter. I sink back into my chair as a profound sense of guilt races through my body. Since seeing that damn envelop I've been solely focused on how it was going to effect me; my job, my family, my relationship with Nikki. And I'd been so angry with Carrie for what she'd done I hadn't even stopped to consider why. What had been going on with her that she thought this was the only way to get out from under it? God, it's no wonder she finally left me.

* * *

Nikki's P.O.V.

_"Heya, sorry, got tied up with some paperwork to close up the Gregson case, damn the ADA is always wanting more."_ That's what I had planned on saying when I entered the squad room. Seeing Nora, all my rehearsing and planning went right out the window. I wanted to know. I want to know. Who is this bitch to just traipse in here and completely dismantle Nora, my Nora, all to pieces. And damn it, why now? We'd settled into a nice, happy relationship, work by day, play by night. Lots of delicious, sensual, yummy play. Only now, now I feel like someone has gone and kicked all the sand outta my sandbox and pushed over my wonderful tower of blocks. Damn this Carrie, damn this case.

"What? Oh sorry Nora, I was just thinking about," She looks at me and somehow I can not quite choke out the lie, so I'll settle for a lame finish, "stuff." I turn my head away not needing to see the look I can almost bet the wallet on is starting to grace her lovely aquiline face.

"Come on, let's... get this done." Why didn't she answer my questions earlier? I just got the business as usual standard replies. While that is Nora's style, somehow, right now, it is just rubbing me the wrong way, rather than being adorable and cute, which it usually is, somehow, right now, I just want to rip into someone and not let go until I... ooooo...

I throw the door open, the knob bounces hard off the wall as I storm in. I tear into the first box, dig down through the bags. "Shit." I mumble and start on the next box, and the next, and the next. "Where the hell is it?" Pawing through the last box, again I come up empty handed. I kick at a box beside me, my heel leaves a nice torn hole. I kick again, another hole. Five more kicks and I've made a smiley face in the side of the box. Heels really do have multiple uses.

"I'm about to jerk a knot in someone's tail." Lord my Aunt loved using that one, it works, for now. Going to throttle someone also has a nice ring to it. "Dan said Nodget dropped this off, right?" That question falls into major rhetorical question-land as I do not even wait to see if an answer is forthcoming. "I'm going to find out who's fucked this up." I'm not sure if Nora has even asked or said anything this whole time, but taking another page from my Aunt's book, I better crack my eggs one at a time. Letter first, Nora's, "better-be-damn-good", explanations second, two fingers of a good ole bourbon third.

I had an uncle, he liked acting. He would take me sometimes to watch his group rehearse; one of the benefits, or as some might view it, curses, to being an only child with one parent; being left with assorted people when Daddy was busy. Well Uncle Alastair would drop me in the front row and I would sit and watch and listen. It always amazed me how there seemed to be this invisible curtain. When my uncle or his friends walked through it onto the stage, it transformed them. They could go from riled to giddy in no time flat. Then once finished on the stage, they'd walk through and boom, again a complete transformation. I found this to be a very good skill to have and practiced until I was a master. I am always tickled pink how this same little ability comes in very handy working in law enforcement. You want bad cop, good cop... I can stand and deliver with the best, of the best sugar.

As I walked into the squad room, it was like walking through the curtain; gone was the irate, pissed off Nikki, here was the sweet as pecan pie and needing a li'l ole favor Nikki.

"Ah, Nodget." My prey is in my sights.

"Detective..." Oh, he looks edgy, or is that just too much spice on his lunch? He does tend to overdo.

"I wanted to thank you for dropping off the evidence. It looks this will be a messy case and we can always use a little help." My finger walks along his hand where it rests on the desk as I perch on the corner of his desk; okay turn on the 1000 megawatt smile and beam it at him. We'll see if we can just illuminate where my letter has got off to.

"Oh, um, yeah, no problem. I'm always glad to help." I watch him lean back in his chair as he speaks, but he leaves his hand where is it, his finger slipping along mine a bit more. I believe the fish is nipping at the bait.

"I know you are," I cooed, leaning forward, chasing after him. "Which is why I could use your help right now."

"Always mighty glad to help a fellow officer, especially if it might work out to lead into drinks later."

"Might, this work does leave one thirsty and wanting to leave the work behind." My fingers trip up along his knuckles as I cross my legs at the knee, keeping my face expressionless although inside I smirk as I catch his eyes raking along my legs. "Nodget, honey, I need to find out if you missed a little evidence, maybe was in a rush and left behind a box."

His eyes jerk upwards, finally meeting mine. I notice he seems to be breathing a little faster, I resist looking down, but I would lay odds he may need to keep his lower region hidden for a bit till he cools down. "I got everything Beaumont."

"Nikki, and you're certain? I made a few notes at the scene to check a few items and they seem to have gone pesky on me and are hiding." God I hate sounding like a simpering idiot, yet in eight of ten times, this way hooks the fish more than if I barge in.

"Prolly evidence screwed it up, I can go shake them up a little for you... Nikki." Okay that is just not as nice sounding as when Nora says my name. Also, I really do not enjoy the feel of his fingers now playing across my hand. Funny, I use to rush head-long into flirting and often still do, it is fun. But there are times now when I find my appetite is not as raging as it once was. Some would be crass and say, I have Nora, so why eat out when I have a full buffet? I really need to drag my mind from the gutter. I think this case is affecting me much more than I previously thought.


	5. Chapter 5

**Authors: pprbckwrtr & docwho2100**

Nora's P.O.V.

I'm not a coward, at least I never thought I was, but seeing the pure...fury?...on Nikki's face scared me. No that's not exactly true, knowing that I caused it scared me. I can blame Carrie all I want but if I had been honest from the beginning I wouldn't be here now. I don't even want to think of the look on her face when she turns around and I'm not there. As the station gets smaller in the rear view mirror realization sinks in; I am a coward and I've been one my whole life.

Well, not anymore.

What should have been a ten minute drive actually takes me thirty before I pull up to my destination, my resolve didn't falter but it did take some building. I take a deep breath as I climb out of the car and head up the front walk.

My mother jumps up from the porch swing and rushes toward the steps. "Nora, honey, what's wrong? Is everyone okay?"

"Everyone's fine," I try to assure her. "Can't I stop by to visit?"

Mama laughs as she moves back to the swing. "You don't even come when you're invited."

At least she was laughing but after all this time I know a reprimand when I hear it. "Where's daddy?" I ask as I join her on the swing. I'm not sure if I want him home or not, I'm thinking it might be easier to deal with them one at a time.

"He's out fishing with your uncle Ralph so I figured I'd sit out here relaxing with some iced tea. It's not like he'll actually notice if the floors are mopped or not." After a few seconds of studying my shoes I finally look up at her. "So, what's going on?"

Trapped in her concerned gaze I realize that I hadn't actually figured out what I was going to tell her. Swallowing hard I decide to give her the bad news first, "I had a pretty difficult scene today." I take a deep breath, "a murder suicide." She tilts her head and waits for me to explain why this one is different than all the others. "Do you remember Carrie?"

"Oh, honey," she gasps. "Why would someone kill her?"

"Actually," I have to look away, unable to say what Carrie had done. I know she understands though as she wraps her arms around me and pulls me into a hug. A sob escapes as I turn into her and wrap my arms tightly around her waist. I allow her to hold me like she used to when I was little and I give myself some time to finally grieve for someone who used to mean so much to me.

"I'm so sorry honey," she soothes as she runs her hand through my hair. "I know you two were close."

I take a deep breath as I pull away from her. "Yeah, we were."

"I never understood why you stopped bringing her around. I always liked her and thought she could have made a good match for one of your brothers." I have to laugh at that and she looks at me curiously. "What? Your brothers aren't that bad."

"It's not that." This is hard, maybe a longer drive would have helped. No, no more being a coward. "Mama, Carrie and I were more than roommates."

"What do you mean?"

"We were...together." I just can't bring myself to say lovers in front of my mother.

"Oh?" she says casually. "Oh," she repeats as realization finally sinks in. "As in...together?" As I nod she looks down at her glass. "I think I need a stronger form of iced tea for this conversation."

Okay, so she didn't yell or run away, just feels the need to get drunk. Not a terrible reaction I suppose. "That's why I stopped bringing her around, we broke up. I'm sorry I never said anything before but I wasn't sure how you would take it."

"I guess that explains some things."

"Like what?"

"Well, like why you never dated Dan."

"Mama," I couldn't quite keep the exasperation out of my voice.

"What? He is a very attractive man and I would have had beautiful grandchildren."

Sometimes I just can't believe the things that she says. "Is that why you wanted us together?" After an uncharacteristically nervous shrug I push the issue, "Well?"

"I just thought he could offer you a nice stable life," she pauses as she brings her glass to her lips. "And if you started having children you'd get off the streets," she adds quickly before she takes a sip.

My mouth drops open and I stare at her, that one really takes the cake. I push off the swing and pace the porch. "I can't believe you just said that."

"I'm a mother it's my prerogative to worry."

I have to bite my lip to keep from yelling. "Do you expect Bobby to get off the streets when he becomes a father?"

"It's also my prerogative to not make sense." She holds out her hand and I instinctively move back and resettle next to her. "I'm sorry honey, I know that's not fair but you are my one and only little girl and I worry more about you than I do your brothers. It's just the way things work."

"I know mama. And I'm sorry if I've given you something more to worry about, I know I should have told you before but I..."

"No honey, I understand why you haven't and I'm sorry that you never felt as though you could tell me. I hope you know that your happiness is the only thing that I've ever wanted."

"I know."

"I have to be honest though," she shifts on the swing and takes my hands in hers. "This is going to take me some time to get used to."

My throat tightens as I voice the question that has worried me for years, not sure I want the answer. "Do you think you can?"

She looks at me like I've suddenly grown a second head. "For you I can do anything. I promise you honey, I love you."

I can feel the tears roll down my cheeks as I lean forward for a hug. "Thanks mama."

"You know even Cher said she had some trouble accepting that her daughter was gay."

I can't help but grin at how easily she says that. "Oh yeah?"

"I saw her on Oprah once." I watch in awe as she rises from the swing and moves toward the door. "Okay let's go inside and I'll make you some lunch. You can tell me what else is bothering you."

As I rise to follow she holds open the screen door and turns to look at me. "Does Nikki know?"

The question stops me dead, "Umm..." I hadn't really thought about that much honesty today.

She grins at me. "Yes, I'm sure she does. You do live together after all." Her knowing wink breaks my paralysis and I move past her into the house.

* * *

Nikki's Day

Thank the Lord Nodget is finally getting his ass moving. I return his wave, mentally trying to push him out the squad room door. "It's just a letter and a few other small items so you shouldn't need to lag like a pig in mud," I whisper under my breath as I keep the forced grin on my lips. I had to dictate what I needed to him, so I rattled off a couple of items, then the letter and another random object or two. No need to raise anyone else's suspicion. "I think that man has a few screws that need tightening." I wait for Nora's customary chuckle.

Silence.

"Are you still mad at me Sugar?" I turn around, readying another tease, I know we both need to try and lighten up.

"Nora?"

Okay maybe I did not need to say her name out loud, but considering the events of the morning and the fact my partner is not still standing by her desk, I figure I am allowed a little leeway in the logic I use to guide my actions. I think I am about to throw all logic right out the window.

I start to search the room, failing to see any trace of Nora. She better be powdering her nose or grabbing a quick coffee. Maybe I should grab some coffee too.

You know, I have always wondered why they chose to use this particular shade of gray on the hallway walls. It really is depressing. Just like the fake creamer, sugar packets stuck together and yellowed foam cups that greet me as I approach the coffee station. The completely empty, no one around at all, coffee station. Damn it, where are you Nora?

I am going to try door number two, the woman's restroom, you better be behind there Nora.

"Oh hey Beaumont, here is the list, everything is checked in but that letter, nothing about that. Oh, I noticed your partner heading out; guess you got the desk duty stint for today."

I snatch the list from Nodget's hand. I am tossing Nora right out the same window that my logic and patience just flew.

"Wow, you know Beaumont, when you make that low growl sound it is mighty sexy."

"Nodget, I suggest you creep back to your desk before you find out what it feels like to have a Macy's Midnight special wedged so far up your ass it will take weeks to dislodge it."

Good, he is creeping back into the squad room. But now... now I have no flipping idea what to do next.

I could go back to my desk and sit there, trying to focus on the case all the while I stare at the empty seat across from me as I begin to ruminate over why it is empty thus letting my jealousy begin to gnaw at my gut as I try to make up excuses for why Nora would give someone else our special symbol of our love...

Uh... no.

I could continue stalking up and down the halls as my blood pressure rises to dangerous levels ignoring the whispers of my fellow officers as they place bets on why I am going mad and who will be the target of my simmering murderous rage as I look for a small little letter that has managed to turn my entire world upside down and delivered me the day from holy hell...

Uh... no.

Dammit Nora, how can you be this frustrating when I love you so much it I'd do anything for you? No matter which way I go in this I'm screwed. I say nothing and keep your status quo and try to pretend life just swirls on and it does not matter that no one knows what is the most important piece of my life. Or, I finally do what I have dreamed of and shout it from the high heavens that you are my girl, I'll hurt anyone that hurts you because I love you and what the hell is going on...

"You know you look like you are trying to wash your face getting ready for Sunday church."

I peek between my fingers to try and locate the speaker.

Bobby Delaney.

This is so not what I need right now.

Or maybe, maybe it is.

"Come with me."

"Hey Nikki, I was just trying to find Nora."

"Bobby Delaney, I believe I just asked you to follow me down this hallway," I pivot around, confirming the young officer is still in the same spot, not following.

"If you do not follow me now, I will come over there, hogtie you tight and drag you down the hallway."

"You don't have any rope," he chases his observation with a chuckle that flickers into a hiccup.

"I have handcuffs and a bra."

Oh he's listening now, the crimson coloring flooding his cheeks, then neck and I am sure all the way to the tips of his toes; Delaneys do blush something pretty. Nora has this incredible flush that develops when she's about to come and...

"I guess this new case of yours has you upset."

Oh that was not the thing to say Bobby Delaney. As I swing round to begin marching down the hallway, I catch his expression; I am guessing he is realizing he might be dealing with a jilted girlfriend rather than a worried detective.

I take a hard right, leading us into a small empty office. Shutting the door behind us, I swivel to face the young man once more, staring hard at him while keeping silent.

"It's all over the department, sorta."

As I continue my silence, my eyes drift down to watch Bobby's hands; hands that are currently toying with his baton, wringing the cylinder and sliding it back and forth. I'm good at noticing the little things people do and using them to my advantage when interacting with others; one of my better skills really. But, right now, I don't feel like playing games or trying to figure things and people out; why bother when it seems everything I had figured out about Nora was just shot to shit.

"I mean the boys are talking about Carrie. A lot knew Nora's old roommate, she'd bring her by the house a lot to family things and of course we always had a lot of cops over as well..."

I put both hands on my hips and take a single step toward Bobby.

He swallows hard, but to his credit, he stands his ground. "A couple have said there was something at the scene about Nora. No one really knows anything though," he speeds up over that last, finishing with another hard swallow, a nervous trembler of a half smile wobbles precariously across his face as I continue to watch him.

"I'm worried about Nora. She's not answering my calls."

"She's not answered mine since she left the station," I relent, a smidge, and offer that to him.

"I, I know she doesn't take losing people that are close to her very well."

"How close were Nora and Carrie?"

Bobby's eyes widen then, a quick dash of a tongue to moisten his lips, another hard swallow, his adam's apple bobbing in and out.

"Close," his voice whispers.

I wonder if he's just making the connection of how close or perhaps he made it some months ago after having found out about Nora and I. Maybe he revisited all of his sister's friendships with a new eye. I know I am beginning to do just that. Damn it, I don't want to do this. I want it to be... ok. I love Nora and I don't want anything fucking that up. Especially some dead girlfriend who Nora seemed to have liked as much as me considering she had a similar charm and I need to stop doing this to myself right now before I end up...

I catch Bobby flinching as a hollow, electronic ring tone blares through the room. It continues to play as I keep the younger Delaney hard in my glare.

"Ain't you gonna to answer that?"

I shouldn't let him off this easy. But I have set a few ring tones separate and this is one of three I tend to pay heed and beckon too.

I point a finger at Bobby as the music ceases. "Not a word to Nora about our talk, but if she contacts you..."

Bobby is already running for the door. "I'll tell Sis she'd better call and calm the hornets nest down," he pauses at the door and cracks a half smile, one that mirrors a favorite of Nora's. Normally I'd savor the look, but it is too reminiscent of Nora, too painful to think about as all of my thoughts keep spiraling to maybe losing that smile.

I pull out my phone as the door closes, hitting the needed speed dial number.

"Hello Daddy... yes, I know I missed the fitting... yes I will be by tomorrow for the breakfast... no, tell Grandma I will not be stopping by tonight... Daddy, my absence at the fitting and tonight has nothing to do with _**that **_Nora and everything to do with I have a massive headache and my plan of going on home, soaking in the tub and drinking cocktails until I am one huge prune both inside and out and then going to bed... yes I know my mamma use to do the same thing... yes I am alright Daddy just a long day... I love you too Daddy... Goodbye Daddy..."

Snapping the phone shut, I look around the room, massaging my temple as I did not completely lie to Daddy, I am developing a killer headache. Torn between wanting to continue down my path of righteous vengeance ala wounded girlfriend and just sulking home to lie around like a bump on the log, I finally decide to put truth behind what I just told Daddy and head home and soak and sulk and pray Nora has explanations, many and very very good ones.

I open the door to the room and pause, the soft wisp of my bracelet scraping across my wrist catching my attention. I stare at the bracelet trying to decide if it holds as much meaning as it did this morning, before this all started. I grit my teeth, working my jaw as I try to stop the slide of tears I can already feel beginning to slip along my cheek. The tears are not because of the answer that whispers through my head; the tears are because I have to ask the question; because before all of this, I never would have imagined the question.

Does life ever offer redo's?


	6. Chapter 6

**Authors: pprbckwrtr & docwho2100**

Nora's P.O.V.

As I pull away from my parents' home I feel lighter than I have in a long time. I know we still have some things to work out, as mama wants time to adjust before telling daddy, but she took the news far better than I had ever imagined. Of course my imagination is what kept me from telling them in the first place, always think the worst that way you won't be disappointed. I don't want to be that person anymore, I want to be able to expect good things to happen.

My hand automatically goes to the medal around my neck, one good thing would be Nikki forgiving me. I don't know if I deserve it but I'm sure as hell going to fight for it. Nikki is everything I have ever, or could ever, want in a partner and if I don't get my head out of my ass I'm going to lose her; that is the last thing I can afford to let happen.

As I approach our home I spot Dan leaning against the back of his car, for a split second I consider driving past but I decide to bite the bullet and I pull the el camino to the curb. I take a deep breath and climb out of the car. "Hey Dan," I cringe at how completely un-casual that sounded.

"Been looking for you," he pushes off his car and moves toward me.

"Yeah, sorry."

"It's okay Nora, I get that this morning was hard. We used to be partners, still are friends, you could have told me if it was..."

I hold up my hand to stop him. "I know Dan. You're right, I am sorry."

He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out an envelope. I try to control my breathing as he hands it to me. "It does have your name on it," he answers my unasked question.

I shake my head. He shouldn't be giving me this. "You took it out of evidence?" I ask as I try to hand it to him.

"No." He stuffs his hands in his pockets, refusing to take it back. "I found it on my desk."

I study him as I try to figure if he's telling me the truth. I look over the envelope, maybe Nikki found it. But then why wouldn't she just bring it home? Maybe because I really pissed her off. Would she really just leave it on his desk? I look up as I realize the back isn't sealed. "Did you read it?"

"Not my name on front," he answers matter-of-factly. "I figured the case is pretty solid," he winces and looks away.

"It's okay." We both know it's not really but what else can I say.

"I also know that if it's needed you'll do the right thing."

I can only nod at that; of course, do my job above everything else. "Right."

"Okay," he nods and starts to back toward his car. "You going to be in tomorrow?"

"Of course. I'll be fine." He looks unconvinced but smiles as he opens the door. "Thanks Dan."

"Any time."

I stand there watching as he drives down the street and out of view. After what feels like forever I clench the letter in my hand and head into the house. I find myself relieved that Nikki's not home yet; I study the envelop, torn between reading it now and waiting for her. I drag in a deep breath and pull out the letter, deciding that I need to be ready when Nikki and I talk, assuming she's still speaking to me.

_Dear Nora,_

_Sorry is that too intimate, how about To Detective Delaney. I had considered To Whom it May Concern but then I realized that no one would be concerned about what happened to me, least of all you. _

_Since your main concern has always been your image and your career I thought I'd give you a nice easy case. I Carrie Ann Peterson murdered Erin Marie North. We had been arguing about our future for a few months now, with her eventually moving out to give us some space. After a month of living apart she decided that she preferred it while I did not. I wasn't intending to kill her or myself but without her in my life I had no reason to hang around. So there you have it, case closed._

_Things could have been so different if only you'd come after me. You weren't supposed to just let me leave without fighting for what we had, but I guess we never had quite as much as I thought. Or maybe you were just happy to finally see me go, it certainly was easier for you that way._

_I do hope you've finally changed because by the looks of your new girlfriend she's not the type to put up with your shit for too long._

_Carrie._

"I've been looking for that all day." The sharp words pull me out of my daze and I jump to my feet. I don't know how long we stand there staring at each other but eventually Nikki tires of the game. "So you gonna tell me how it came into your possession?" she demands.

The urge to run that had me sneaking out of the station comes back full force but I stand my ground. "Dan brought it by," I answer as I hold the letter out to her.

She glares at me for a second before snatching it out of my hand. "Of course he did."

I can't stand having her anger directed at me. "I'm sorry," I say automatically and she frowns at me as she looks down at the note. "I have you know." She looks up and I'm relieved to see some of the anger draining. "Changed," I clarify. "I have changed. I swear I never meant to hurt you or..."

"Then why didn't you ever tell me?"

I shake my head as I try to gather my thoughts but when I hear her angry exhalation I realize she assumed I was putting her off again. I hold up my hand in what I hope is a reassuring gesture. "You know I haven't had many really serious relationships and I never told you about Carrie because, of the ones I have had, that was one I wasn't too proud of."

"From the tone of the letter I assume it didn't end well."

I shake my head. "When you talk about your past it's always happy and you talk about what they gave you." At her small smirk I try to lighten the mood. "And I don't mean your drawer of bling." My heart lifts slightly at the smile she tries to suppress. "It seems as though they all taught you something. Carrie only taught me fear. She was constantly pushing things to the edge, pushing me, and then she'd apologize and it would just start all over. We weren't together that long but I've let her manipulation influence how I act ever since."

"But Dan knew her, you took her to the station. And Bobby came by today because word was spreading. They all knew her...you took her to your parents'." I can hear the pain in her voice and I realize that last fact is what hurt her the most.

"As for my parents', Carrie and I were friends first so they already knew her, and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't not take her. Even when I would go alone she'd just show up. Same with the station, I didn't bring her there."

"So that's why you've..."

"Yes. That's why I've treated you so poorly."

"Nora..." she starts to let me off the hook even if she does agree.

"I have, Nikki, but no more." I step forward but stop myself, not sure if she's open to contact. "I've been to my mother's; I told her about me."

"Us?" she asks hopefully.

"She knows but, no, I didn't actually tell her. I want to ease her into this and she wants to adjust before we tell my father."

"But you think she knows."

I smile as I think of some of mama's teasing comments. "Oh yeah, she knows and I think she's okay with it. She likes you but she knows the department rules about partners so she didn't say anything specific."

"But," she pauses and chews her lip, telling me she either doesn't know how to phrase her question or doesn't want the answer. "What about Dan?"

I take a deep breath, proud that I had already made this decision. "That's up to you. We won't be able to be partnered and one of us may have to transfer, which I am willing to do, but if you want to tell him then I'm fine with that. I owe you at least that much."

Her mouth hangs open, I don't think she was ready for that answer. "Really?"

"Absolutely."

"Wow." She stares at me for a second, clearly I've surprised her. "I don't know if I want to tell him. I want to be your partner...on and off the force."

My eyes slide closed as a tension suddenly leaves my body. "Good," I breathe.

"Actually though, I was wondering why, if your mother knew the rules, why she kept trying to set you two up."

"Oh that," I laugh. "She wanted him to knock me up so I would get off the streets." I laugh again as her mouth flops open again. "Yeah, I let her have it for that one."

"She worries about you." I watch as tears gather in her dark eyes and I realize we aren't just talking about mama.

"I know," I admit as I step forward. "And I'm sorry."

"I know." Her hand extends out toward my face only to pull back suddenly. "What does this mean to you?" she chokes.

"What?"

"This." She holds up her hand and I see her St. Christopher dangling. Then she reaches inside my shirt and pulls out mine. "These."

"Everything." I answer honestly.

"Then why did she have one? It's how you knew it was her this morning. I'm sorry, Nora, I know I'm somewhat irrational but its bothered me all day wondering how many women wear your medal."

I reach out and take her hands in mine. "Only one." I pull her over to the couch and sit us down. "I didn't give her the medal." My mind drifts back to the last fight I'd had with Carrie...

_"I bought this for you to apologize for what I did at your party," Carrie said as she handed Nora a small box. _

_"You didn't have to do that."_

_"I want you to have something to help keep you safe."_

_"St. Michael," Nora guessed as she opened the box. "Oh, a St. Christopher."_

_"Who's St. Michael." Carrie asked as her arms cross._

_"Patron saint of cops..." _

_Carrie stepped forward and grabbed the medal out of Nora's hand. "I can never do anything right can I?"_

_"What? No, Carrie this is nice."_

_"Forget it Nora."_

"She bought it for me shortly after my promotion, it was a peace offering but it led to another argument and she left me. I swear to you when we chose St. Christophers for each other I did not give Carrie a single thought; I wanted something different and special for just us. I knew it was her this morning because her name was on my caller id."

"The missed call last night?"

I smile as I remember the reason the call was missed. "Yes."

Nikki squeezes my hand. "I guess I should have let you answer it after all."

"No," I disagree. "You should and will always come first. Seeing her name this morning had her on my mind but I haven't thought about her in years."

"I'm sorry you had to be there."

"It's okay Nik. I'll admit it was a shock and I'm sad for her and pretty angry at her but in all honesty my reactions today had more to do with me and us. I was selfishly worried about how this letter would affect me and how this would affect us." I look down at our linked hands. "You didn't exactly react well and it had me scared."

"I'm sorry. You know I don't like surprises, unless of course if they include bling."

I snort at that comment. "Oh, you definitely are due for some bling." I look back up to find her smiling at me and I silently vow to keep that look on her face. "I love you. Only you. Always you."

* * *

A/N: Thanks for reading. I know we left a few questions but there is a sequel on the horizon.


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